A Series of Vaguely Movie Related Tweets: from 9-6-10 to 5-13-12

This series of vaguely movie related tweets span the period from September 6, 2010 to today – March 13, 2012 on Twitter.com/JobFaust. They are listed in the order in which they were originally tweeted.

And now, may we present to you… A Series of Vaguely Movie Related Tweets:

The Ember Island Players’ version of the Last Airbender story is more faithful than M Night Shyamalam’s adaptation.

Just watched Jaws from start to finish for the first time in ages – when is that Steven Spielberg going to make another movie?

Thought Watchmen would work better on the little screen, but I was wrong – it pretty much magnifies all of its problems to barely viewable..

If Being There was made today, the film makers would probably have to put in a car chase scene as well as a gun shoot out.

I wish someone would make a movie adaptation of Raptor Red by Paleontologist Robert T Bakker: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raptor_Red

Granted that Asylum’s movies are really, really bad – that doesn’t lessen the fact that their Business Plan is pure brilliance.

If there is any true joy to be found in this world I’m pretty sure it is hidden in Dick Shawn’s performance in It’s A Mad Mad Mad Mad World.

Would it be considered creepy if I tagged #rachelharris in all my blog posts and etc on the off chance she’d find my ramblings charming?

Does it say anything about Hollywood when Muppet adaptations of classic literature are more faithful than the big budget ones?

Is it awesome or lame that the hero of the Hitman has the blandest mid-west accent ever while being raised by an intl cabal of assassins?

The opening disclaimer for Wanted should be: This movie has been altered from its original form, all the cool has been replaced with fail.

If you cut all of the celebrity cameos out of Funny People it would be half as long and twice as funny.

I think a solid case could be made that My Blue Heaven is the greatest gangster film of the 20th Century.

I want to remake Dune, but instead of being on Arrakis, I would set it in Brazil in 1955 with the Harkonnen’s being Nazi War criminals.

I would like to do a remake of Apollo 13, but have it all take place in a Ford Taurus on the way to Tallahassee, Florida instead.

Serenity & Dr Horrible pretty much sum up exactly why Joss Whedon > JJ Abrams.

I want to remake Romeo & Juliet, but set it in the early 60s NYC against a backdrop of prejudice and gang warfare. With songs and dance.

I would like to remake Saving Private Ryan but reset it during the Zombie uprising and include cameos for Van Damme and Betty White.

I dreamt that William Shatner released a new album called “The Shat Sings The Muppets Greatest Hits On Ukulele”.

Everything I know about Show Biz I learned from Singin’ In The Rain. #DignityAlwaysDignity

I would like to remake Reservoir Dogs, but I’d keep the language and violence intact only with an all dog cast like Beverly Hills Chiuahua.

The Ninja fight scene at the end of Pee Wee’s Big Adventure still stands as the greatest action scene Tim Burton has ever directed.

I want to remake the 3 Musketeers, but set it in a small ad agency in present day, with Richelieu being the head of the big agency network.

I love everything about the movie Up, except the movie Up.

I want to see more dances with a Weekend At Bernie’s theme on So You Think You Can Dance – that would make the show just about perfect.

I live my life by a strict personal code – it is a simple substitution cipher involving written elvish and a 3 character displacement.

August Rush is contrived and manipulative, but it is the kind of contrived and manipulative that works on me.

I am loving the aesthetic of Genki Sudo, of World Order, and how he approaches his art. Here he is with his band: http://bit.ly/noPSH7

How is it possible that the original Dungeons and Dragons movie has actually gotten more bearable over time?

Watching Rio: The Movie with Niece Karina’s kids. You would expect there to be a lot more human nudity than there is with a title like that.

I forget how much I love Scott Pilgrim – except the ending. It loses the thread somewhere and just doesn’t close the deal.

I would really like to do a remake of Being There, but, you know, with more explosions and less Shirley MacLaine.

I want to do a faithful staging of West Side Story, but w/ sets & costumes representing Verona in the late 1500s. Take that Baz Luhrmann.

I would like to do a live Radio Play type staging of A Mighty Wind in two acts.

I’ve been depressed twice in my life – once for 14 years and once for 22 years.

The biggest issue with the Hitchhiker’s Guide movie is its absolute lack of facility with language. The book rejoiced in language, not plot.

I would like to remake Contagion but set it in an average Elementary school as a group of students deal with a dangerous cooties outbreak.

Just saw the most beautiful rainbow ever. It inspired me to write a story called “Rainbows Are Evil, I Mean Seriously Really Really Evil”.

Black Sheep > Ides of March.

At a certain level an argument can be made that Ides of March is just a really unfunny remake of Black Sheep.

Ryan Gosling alone can never add up to Chris Farley and David Spade together.

Ok, I actually don’t believe any of that stuff, but still Ides of March really wasn’t very funny.

Weird… Ghost World is mysteriously more resonant to me now than it was when it first came out. Must think this through.

Watching Ponyo with Niece Karina’s kidlings. Just once I would like all the prehistoric fish to go crazy and attack the people. Just once.

It is a nice feeling to know that wherever I go I raise the level of discussion from Polite Disinterest to Reactive Defensiveness.

I want to release a CD that is only spoken word set ups/intros  – that would make random shuffle on MP3 players infinitely more interesting.

I want to make a Facebook app that comments back your status updates to you, but as an innuendo. #thatswhatshesaid

The original Clash of the Titans is playing on BBC America and I don’t remember any of it, it is like a brand new movie that I am watching.

I feel like Howard Hughes when sick, but without any of the perks – like a loyal staff of Mormons or an endless supply of Vegas Penthouses.

Do they make White Boards for showers? I do all my best thinking in there and promptly forget it all when I step out.

I hope Immortals 2 features Hamblor the God of Hamburgers in a key role.

My greatest sadness currently is that I have heard so many bad impressions of M. Python & the Holy Grail that I cringe during the original.

I want to make a zombie movie in which you never see any zombies until the very last scene when they finally capture the heroes & kill them.

I firmly believe that Burt Reynolds ruined Dom DeLuise’s career.

Sometimes I feel like a long term victim of the Adjustment Bureau.

I want to remake Black Snake Moan but replace Christina Ricci and Samuel L Jackson with Jack McBrayer and Ellen DeGeneres.

I envision a Human-less Post-Apocalyptic future in which Automated AIs continue to sue each other on behalf of Apple, MS, Sony, Samsung, etc

Every year I feel like the world has more Strawberries and fewer Hazels and Fivers. I’d take 1/8th of a Bigwig to 10 Strawberries any day.

You know, now that they have nailed the Planet of the Apes reboot brilliantly, I think we’re ready for a big budget Lancelot Link remake.

New Movie Idea: How the LA Asian Community comes together to defeat an ancient evil while working as extras on Big Trouble In Little China.

I want to do a knock-off line of shirts called Confliction. They would basically be Affliction shirts, only in pink.

I want to make a movie called Old Dragons. It would star Jackie Chan, Yuen Biao, Sammo Hung and John Travolta.

I wanna do a Cirque du Soleil style show about Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy Onassis’s life with acrobats, clowns and New England accents.

If you call it Monty Python In Search of the Holy Grail then I will secretly mourn that I can never take anything you say seriously.

I wanna do a staging of 13: The Musical but with a cast that has noone younger than 50 in it.

Once whatever the ultimate form of ACTA/SOPA/PIPA finally passes (and it will) do you think Hollywood High Concept Pitches will be illegal?

To preserve the legacy of John Candy, we should buy the rights to Who’s Harry Crumb and prevent it from ever being seen again.

The Marx Brothers vs The Three Stooges – hasn’t there been enough bloodshed already? Can’t we all just get along?

I have seen the Core probably 4 or 5 times, and I still don’t understand anything that happens in it.

I want to do a new staging of Hamlet, the dialogue will be the same, but the setting will be updated to a Clown College in Central Florida.

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