KILL ALL THE CRITICS

As of January 21st, 2020, it is now officially cool to hate Star Wars. Of course, one could say it has been in fashion as far back as 1997 when the Original Trilogy’s 20th Anniversary Special Editions came out or in 1999 with the release of Episode 1- The Phantom Menace. But why? Why is it so easy to hate? Imagine for a moment trying to come up with an idea for a new Star Wars Movie. Go ahead. What did you end up with? It’s not so easy is it?And it’s not just Star Wars. Spider-Man, Batman, Superman, Indiana Jones, The Simpsons and so many for have fallen victim to the hate spread across Social Media. Who do I blame? The Critics.

star_wars-_the_rise_of_skywalker_still_12

 

It all starts with Critics. They’re given a chance to see the Movie early and what do they do? They hate on the Movie. I know, it’s their job, it’s their responsibility, they’re well trained at this, etc. But a Critic today is not the same as a Critic from thirty years ago. Today’s Critics focus on if the Movie pleases every group of people, rather than if the Story, Costumes and so on are good.

han-solo-dies-han-solo-lives

 

Today, all forms of storytelling have been sucked into the Political Agendas of people who probably don’t even watch, read or listen. Instead of being creative, you can literally take an old movie, change the sex or race of the main characters and the Critics will give it rave reviews because they “have” to. But what good does that really do anyone? Sure, maybe we can fix diversity in film, but what how does that help us in the real world? It’s the Studios giving into Critics and they hope for a good result that makes them look more progressive. But is it all about money? There’s been talk that some Studios even pay for good reviews. So Critics can be bought?

 

Then there’s Rotten Tomatoes. It is a Cancerous Website built on hate and “Look at me, look at me!” fatigue. “This is MY opinion!” Good for you. People will go onto Rotten Radishes and put in a terrible review of a Movie they’ve never even seen. If you’re not A Star Wars person, then of course none of the new Movies are for you. So why waste time going on a site and putting in a complaint? I didn’t bother with the new Ghostbusters. It looked like crap. Simple. Ghostbusters was never political, why start now? But I didn’t go on Rotten Asparagus, complaining about it or giving it a negative 200 stars. And now that a new one’s coming out that brings the series back to the world of the originals, the Killer Tomato crowd is waiting in the Shadows, ready to strike. Some have already formed their opinion on it. It comes out in six months and there has only been one trailer. Wait a while.

hqdefault

 

I saw an article recently talking about how Comedian Richard Pryor wasn’t as funny as everyone thinks he was and how awful of a person he had been during his dark drug years. Richard Pryor has been dead for fifteen years! You’re just writing a “review’ on him now? How about you write about how amazing you are and funny and how everyone wants to be in your company at all times like you know you want to, and shut up. Yes, Richard Pryor did some bad things, but he eventually cleaned himself up. He hated that person he had been. Yes, Louie C.K. did some bad things, but don’t tell me he’s not funny. It can’t all be bias. You have to look at the talent and judge that. Kevin Spacey never won an Oscar for being a nice guy. But that’s what the Critics see. They don’t see a Movie. They see Drama!

richard-pryor-9448082-1-402

 

It’s been basically proven that Johnny Depp didn’t abuse his ex-wife, but sure enough there’s multiple articles about why he’s done in Hollywood. At this time he’s even fired from the next Pirates Of The Caribbean. I saw one article that was all about how it’s time to say goodbye to him. I say we wait until he’s dead. Until then, I hope he keeps making Movies. Another Hunter S. Thompson yarn would be much appreciated.

B000ID1J0E_FearAndLoathingLasVegas_UXNB1._SX1080_

 

Dammit, I’m ranting again. Calm down, Robbie….

 

Roger Ebert once gave Die Hard a terrible review. Then years later, he looked back and said it was actually pretty good. So why did we trust him after that? Caddyshack was a box-office disaster and Critics hated it. But now it’s a true Classic. It’s gone from one Star to three in the last twenty years! So many cult Classics didn’t please fans. Big Trouble In Little China is huge, but back then… not so much. I watched Monster Squad on repeat from the time it came out, but it didn’t become largely popular for years. Dirty Work, Half Baked; I could go on all day.

MV5BZDViZDAzMjAtY2E1YS00OThkLWE2YTMtYzBmYWRjMWY0MDhkXkEyXkFqcGdeQXRzdGFzaWVr._V1_CR36,0,949,534_AL_UY268_CR17,0,477,268_AL_

 

But Robbie, what is this rant all about? You sound so angry. Well I am. I’m tired of looking up news on a Movie I can’t wait to see only to find so much hate. There’s not a problem with Apu. there’s a problem with you! It rhymes! Indiana Jones is too old? That’s the plot of the Movie!

MV5BY2I1NWE2NzctNzNkYS00Nzg5LWEwZTQtN2I3Nzk3MTQwMDY2XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMTQxNzMzNDI@._V1_UX182_CR0,0,182,268_AL_

 

My answer: We need to do away with Critics of all kinds. That Restaurant wasn’t what you’d hoped it would be? Don’t go back. You didn’t like the Movie? Stick to those you do like. No one’s making you do any of these things so don’t complain. Like what you like and if you enjoy it, it’s for you. If not, just be quiet. Not everyone needs to know what you hate. Maybe if people would stop listening to others and decide for themselves, the world would be a better place. And I know this article is ironic, but that’s for you to decide. So let’s embrace this thought and Kill All The Critics!

All_Simpsons_characters

 

 

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s